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So now you have all this data. Someone had obviously been weighing the pros and cons of two women — very thoroughly. Checking trends Every relationship changes over dons. So start with your scale.

But bear with me. And if we really get down to it, how much of this stuff is patently good or bad versus a lisf of fit? Submit a Comment.

How many of your key values are represented in your relationship? votes, 95 comments. What makes a relationship worth it for you?

Specific factors are those things that make your partner unique or well-suited to you—so, common interests and stuff that makes your partner one of a kind. So check in and see what carries weight for you in a relationship: Values. con list when choosing between two people. If most of the benefits of a relationship come down to things like companionship, avoiding loneliness, a feeling of belonging, the status of being married or having a best friend, etc—make a note of that.

These are the shadow side of values—the stuff that breaks down, the things that feel like betrayal or a fundamental mismatch to you. › love › Making-Pros-Cons-List-Relationship Puzzling Out a Relationship's Pros and Cons Meanwhile, tell me, have you ever made a pro vs. So even if you gather all your data and the choice seems clear, see if your body has anything to say about it. There is no universal standard for the perfect relationship, because everyone wants something a little bit different.

You as weights to things based on your values.

Making a pros and cons list in a relationship

Meanwhile, tell me, have you ever made a pro vs. And sometimes, against all the odds, lixt relationships just work. Then narrow it down to a couple of key points. Or is one person working much harder than the other most of the time? But rarely are things so black and white. It sounds so dry.

The art of weighing a relationship

Under Susan are such pros as "sex is damn good" and "good cook," while the Les side says the sex was just "adequate" but that she's an "excellent cook. What matters most?

These are all questions that we sit with. These things are common factors. One part of your job is to determine if it is changing into something you like. Personally, I ljst that when you're to the point of making pros and cons lists, the relationship is probably over, but I.

So how do we determine how much good is good enough? I've weighed the pros and cons of a relationship before, but I don't think I've gone so far as to make a list — and it's certainly never been so urgent that I had to use the s of an in-flight magazine! Consider your values, your requirements.

I've reproduced the list below for your voyeuristic pleasure, so check it out — it's quite entertaining. I know, I know. Too bad the answers to this puzzle aren't on Is it worth the work involved?

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If things have changed for the worse, is it workable? Deal breakers. How is your relationship now compared with when it started?

Give yourself time to reflect, and then decide how to proceed. You want to handle it with care. Take a moment to reflect on those deal breakers. Making a Pros and Cons List in a Relationship Puzzling Out a Relationship's Pros and Cons May 18, by Love and Sex 7 Shares I opened my in-flight magazine on a recent trip to find the crossword puzzle and cartoon covered entirely by a list, with "Susan" on one side and "Les" on the other.

How much bad is too much? Make a long list. How many deal breakers, if any, are present?